You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating Dom Perignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems You had a speech, you're speechless Love slipped beyond your reaches And I couldn't give a reason Champagne problems Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure "This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke "Well, it's made for me" how Evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you "She would've made such a lovely bride What a shame she's fucked in the head" they said But you'll find the real thing instead She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems Your mom's ring in your pocket Her picture in your wallet And you won't remember all my Champagne problems You won't remember all my Champagne problems