Let me begin with a hearty ho-ho And a tale that nobody tells well I've not come all the way from In-C-I-N-O To be treated like sewage that smells Now I'm certainly not that surprised For this story is older than time Me peg-legged pirate bretheren and I Are society's slug-ridden slime We've all been cast out as scallywag rogues With fire in our beards and our eyes There's a side to us pirates that nobody knows And it's soft as a baby's backside Some of us just want adventures We only seek wind in our earrings Why are we constantly misunderstood? Don't ya know pirates have feelings? Poor pirates, p-o-o-r Poor pirates, p-o-o-r Poor pirates Can't deny this simple truth Poor pirates, p-o-o-are People too (too) "Nice harmonies, mateys!" Think of how hard we have had it (so hard) 'Bout our ships there is not much to eat (not much to eat) And dentists hate pirate insurance (yo-ho, no!) Which is why we've so many gold teeth (we've too many gold teeth) Laundry stays damp and me boots start to sink And me fingernails filthy and dirty The internet loads unbelievably slow And we bedtimes are at seven thirty Poor pirates, p-o-o-r, p-o-o-r Poor pirates, p-o-o-r, p-o-o-r Poor pirates Can't deny this simple truth We're poor pirates, p-o-o-r, p-o-o-r Poor pirates, p-o-o-r, p-o-o-r Poor pirates Have it so much worser than you We've got pirate parades to which nobody comes Captain Kidd hosts a marathon but nobody runs Long John Silver invented the bloomin' onion But d'you think he gets credit for that? No! Captain Bombum, no one knows his first name And Old Greenbeard's been driven completely insane Hardly anyone celebrates our one holiday (argggh!) Talk Like a Pirate Day We are poor pirates, p-o-o-r Poor pirates, p-o-o-r Poor pirates Can't deny this simple truth Can't deny that we're poor (pirates are people too!) Poor pirates, p-o-o-r Poor pirates, p-o-o-r Poor pirates Can't deny this simple truth That pirates p-o-o-are People too Yo-ho! Ha!